In the mountains ( 1920) PDF biography
It is a dairy of an English woman who had a bad past and tries to find love and happiness. she did not add her name to the book.
Oh, what is all this talk of death? Today I suddenly noticed that each day since I've been here what I've written down has been a whine and that each day while I whined I was in fact being wrapped around by beautiful things, as safe and as perfectly cared for really as a baby fortunate enough to have been born into the right sort of family. Oughtn't I to be ashamed.'' Of course, I ought; and so I am. For, looking at the hours, each hour as I get to it, they are all good. Why should I spoil them, the ones I'm at now, by the vivid remembrance, the aching misery, of those black ones behind me.
Mrs Antoine, small and twenty-five, who has been provided by Antoine, that expert in dodging inconveniences, with a churn suited to her size out of which she produces little pats of butter suited to my size every day, Switzerland not having any butter in it at all for sale — Mrs Antoine looked at me to-day when she brought out food at dinner time, and catching my eye she smiled at me, and so I smiled at her, and instantly she began to talk.
What is it about Mrs Barnes that makes Dolly and me sit so quiet and good.? I needn't ask: I know. It is because she is single-minded, unselfish, genuinely and deeply anxious for everybody's happiness and welfare, and it is impossible to hurt such goodness. Accordingly, we are bound hand and foot to her wishes, exactly as if she were a tyrant.